you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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