why didn't you poke me back
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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