dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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