I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
