Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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