Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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