college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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