I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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