idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
