How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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