I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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