Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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