I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize