All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
