so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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