I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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