bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
