you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can I color on your dick again?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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