It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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