I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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