a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
