my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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