ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i will never coherently bang her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
