think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
