Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
