Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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