wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
