Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Are my feet made of real feet?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
