My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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