Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
