you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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