btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
