I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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