Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize