if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
