I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
