Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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