the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
