that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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