What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
