I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
