Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
