The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
