i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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