just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
