he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
