Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
