No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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