Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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