I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
