It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
