somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
