I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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