just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
