She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize