Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
