His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I had to cum in my sink.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize