Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
